Thursday, February 5, 2015


Aku manusia 18 tahun yang beberapa hari lagi mengawali cerita di tahun ke-19 eksistensinya.
Lahir di tanah yang sangat sarat dengan ujar satunya.

Cinta sesama. Juga yang berbeda.

Cinta keluarga. Juga tetangga.

Cinta rumah. Tak boleh lebih cinta rumah manusia lainnya.

........ mengingat mental-mental yang terintegrasi begitu kuat di tanah tempat aku mengenal oksigen pertama kalinya membuat aku sedikit merasa berbeda. Namun, terkadang juga aku pikir itu suatu hal yang wajar. Proyeksi hidupku adalah menjadi visioner. Aku merasa bahwa duniaku tidak terbatas kilometer bahkan mil. Aku sadar bahwa aku masih tertempel di batas dinding yang sama selama delapan belas tahun ini. Aku ingin menjadi terobosan baru di tengah-tengah keluarga dan kawan yang melakukan hal-hal homonim yang sudah menahun. Terdengar sedikit egois dan ke-aku-an tapi satu hal yang aku pikir semua manusia di bumi ingin, walau hanya sempat, yaitu menjadi istimewa .........

Sudah lama pikiranku merantau hingga tak kenal lautan dan batas-batas teritori. Aku boleh berada di tempat yang sama tapi imaji terus, terus dan terus tak pernah menyerah untuk terus menyeretku ke banyak hal diluar kemampuan ruang dan waktuku. Bahkan tak heran jika diriku sendiri terkadang memutuskan untuk menjadi orang yang paling tidak kuasa di daratan, lautan dan semua diantaranya. Memori sudah lama menjadi ketakutanku, bahkan aku sulit membayangkan hari ini menjadi kemarin.

Aku ingin merantau,
tak sesimpel ke negeri orang,
tapi juga ke batas-batas pikirnya yang bisa sangat tak terduga
juga aku tak ingin menduga, 
aku hanya ingin memperluas batas-batas mata yang selama ini itu-itu saja
dan juga batas hati, yang layaknya manusia lainnya, ingin bersukacita.

Monday, December 8, 2014

A Cup of Coffee 0.2

People somehow asked me about what I want to be, what I think about me or even who I think I am. It takes years for me to answer such questions. I know I maybe am not an expert to describe things even about myself but as I know, I know what exactly things I have been through and what life truly is. Then I expect people will get to know me. Not from things I bring to the table but from things that I defined as things and they are called a cup of coffee.

LIFE. Something that is very common to pin down. When we begin to describe it, it feels like we travel to the mars and back and back again and back-back-again and again never ends. It is even harder when we find out that secret and logic are friends, it does not matter if the secrets are not always logically defined. The more we try to crush them, the less possibility they will unfriend one and another. Seriously, it is not the thing. The thing is us. You and I, you and she, she and he, we and they or whatever it is. We sometimes hate someone called best friend and most of time sick of bad
friend a.k.a enemy but somehow our enemy is our best friend. It does not make sense, what is actually friend or enemy? My enemy is friend of my friend’s friend. So why cannot we be friends? Or why our friends not claimed same individual as an enemy? Too many whys. How does it feel? Well, that is life. A time when the questions of why are favorite and how and what follow.
Life is not always in the "X" axis (Read: Flat). There are always salty and sweet. Like a cup of hot coffee in the afternoon, life would be beautiful when everything is placed at the appropriate time and in the right portions. We have to believe in ourselves when putting our own sugar in coffee; do not be afraid of sweetness, which is why taking risks is sometimes necessary in life.

Sometimes, we felt the hot sting on the tongue when tasting our own coffee. Everyone has their own way to express it. So is life, everyone has his/her own way to be against problems in life. No need to get upset. Do not be too sad. What happened happens, but it is only the theory. Practically people want to rewind times, fix things, regret the holes and cry over no-s. You know what is funny, people make their own theory and break it practically, such a waste but they called it human being. Agreed. Well I have to agree even when I am not. People keep thinking about what people say, I don’t want look like [beep] in public, they won’t do the same, they won’t like it. Again, agreed. I keep thinking the same things but why bother? We are even different to any other individuals. Oh really? But it ain’t easy to screw people thought or public opinion. Why we cannot be like a coffee in a cup, they will not argue when another cup get more sugar or they do but we cannot hear its voice. I don’t know but let us get through this. People say words, we do too, people think things, we do too, people do what they have to do more than what they want to do, we even more do too. What really matter is ourselves. Get to know ourselves. Try to forgive ourselves. It is that hard but again hard depends on us not him not her not them. Accept the bitterness or sweetness but no worry if it tastes not right at least we learn something. Without the bad days, we never know how to be glad to have the good ones.

Satisfied is time when we can spend our coffee without getting a bitter taste of the dregs. In life we do not apply this coffee theory. Satisfaction is not always a happy ending but also the bad ones that we can frame on the wall and say oh I experienced this and no more. We call it hope. Hope to change and hope to move on. Question. Do they really exist? People who consciously say yes! to enjoy the bitterness of life?. If there is maybe his/her life is so much sugar or maybe they have no sugar stocks so frankly say yes is the only one option left. Then what? We can still grocery shop or something. There is no one and only option. We can make options if we do want it, if we are clear to see it.

I think I write a lot random things like jelly tots. But note this one. There is no excuse when we have to interfere a cup of coffee belongs to someone else with our own recipe. Because it is a cup of your coffee, enjoy it! While this is mine.

Don’t forget your morning coffee!
Rahmat Arif Febriyanto

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Love or else

Love or to beloved is too complicated to tell even with only a sentence. Lately I've been thinking what is love exactly, well at least what it is to most of people. An idea came out to my mind and I asked some of my friends about when they realized they love someone. Well it sounds like so sudden and random to ask someone that thing but I just want to know and that’s it.
I honestly expect something different answers to everyone but technically my expectation is a big hole in the theory. Everyone, almost everyone told me typical answers. They said it was love when they couldn't say a word when him/her around or when they couldn't even imagine to live a day without their L object. The rest of them even told me cliche things like when they felt comfortable with him/her, or when they were happy around him or her. Then my assumption is that they all have experienced love. But is that all they felt, they experienced during the lifespan of the love? If that is how about people who define love when they have ton of words to say to him/her, when they can just easily trust their L object when him/her is not around or when they can still find a reason to be happy even when him/her is away. Or even when they feel it’s not convenience when him/her is there in not a good timing just like work or friend time. Did they define love right? Or they got love wrong.

If love is for everyone then why it sounds like there is standard to love and beloved. Like morning calls, night calls, texting like every 15 minutes or love you-ing every time they hold the phone. So that must be suck for people who don’t have mobile phone. Well it sounds ridiculous and impossible today but how if it really happens? Or maybe people who don’t have any extra money to pay their phone credit. Sounds like more possibility. That’s not the case. The case is is that really what we have to do when we call it love or beloved? Well have to and want to are so much different.

Then I asked myself. Did I ever been loved or beloved if maybe I defined love wrong. They said love has no reason. Or don’t ever put a reason to love someone. But I do. I need a reason to love someone. A reason that i need my another part of me. That i can trust it will distrust-proof, that it is rule free but we can rely to one and another, that no someone else but us, that screw any other individuals words but ours, that they don’t know about us, that calls, texts, chats and we mean it and not because we think we have to do it. I think i have been loved and It stay still in me even when i try to not care anymore but i do care. I do remember. I keep trying to figure it out and i do want to love someone who can have another reason (not another boy) to be happy when I’m not around—because it hurts to know you hurt.